I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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