Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
