I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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