Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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