i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
