do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
