the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
