Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
