period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
