Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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