So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
