When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
