As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
