in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
