Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
