you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
