it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Be still, my beating vagina.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
