you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
