There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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