Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
