dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
