this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
