i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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