glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
