I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
how drunk are you?
Several
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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