We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
