He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The struggles of a small town man whore
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
