He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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