You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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