I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
