question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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