David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
