Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
