you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
