Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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