When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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