I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
