i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
