Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
