Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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