i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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