dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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