OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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