I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
cat food counts as protein by the way
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
