did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He felt like a one man threesome
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Come on in and take your pants off
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