After last night, I could never be a politician.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
