What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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