GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
