He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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