Only a mothe r could love this liver
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
