I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My dick has a subreddit
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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