That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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