it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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