Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
